It comes and goes in waves. Sometimes I can look back lovingly and sometimes my heart just breaks. On Oct 31, 2004 I brought home a shy, un-socialized purebred rough collie named Blue from the kennel where he was born and stayed until we bought him. He was a challenge from the start. Afraid of everything -- even the rustling of the newspaper when my mother changed pages! He was special for sure. We went to obedience school -- I always joked we arrived on the short bus! We repeated intermediate obedience several times. Mostly to continue his socialization - not because he was dumb by any means. The most handsome little man in the class. Eventually he settled in and became our early warning signal to everything from trash that blew by the fence to someone coming home 3 houses down the street! Mom felt very safe with our gentle giant in the house. He was so loving. He'd get in your face if he wanted to be petted and if you stopped before he wanted you to, he would nose your hand letting you know you weren't done yet!

 

This past Saturday at the ripe old age of 7, he became acutely ill and passed away. I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye before he went as I was driving him to the Animal Urgent Care when he died. I miss him terribly and I worry for my mother who is 90 and has no interaction all day except for what she got from Bleu (yes we changed the spelling of his name but it remained Blue). His AKC registered name was Karizma's Blue Braveheart and he earned his Canine Good Citizens Award as well as passing the Therapy Dog Certification but I never sent in the paperwork to get his license. He had to be on a standard buckle collar instead of a choke chain and I was afraid of him running away in a strange environment like a hospital. (He slipped his buckle collar once and I had a hard time catching him)  So I decided not to persue it.

 

I am looking for another dog, not to replace him but to fill the void my mother and I feel by not having a fur-friend in the house. Please pray that God leads me to the perfect dog very soon. I am looking into a Lab Rescue. They have several adult labs that need a forever home. If you ever want a dog that is the most loving, beautiful, even tempered dog, get a collie.

 

Neither mom nor I feel much like Cards and decorations so if you do not hear from us, don't take it personal. Earlier today I got an email with the Third Day spring tour schedule and was happy. That has since wore off. Someone wrote once that God gave us pets to show us what unconditional love was and that they could only stay with us for a little while. I sure hope there are dogs in heaven.

 

See you at Rainbow Bridge Baby Bleu.....

A Politically Correct Christmas Poem

 

Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...

How to live in a world that's politically correct?

His workers no longer would answer to "Elves",

"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.

And labor conditions at the North Pole,

were alleged by the union, to stifle the soul.

 

Four reindeer had vanished without much propriety,

released to the wilds, by the Humane Society.

And equal employment had made it quite clear,

that Santa had better not use just reindeer.

So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,

were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!

 

The runners had been removed from his beautiful sleigh,

because the ruts were deemed dangerous by the EPA,

And millions of people were calling the Cops,

when they heard sled noises upon their roof tops.

Second-hand smoke from his pipe, had his workers quite frightened,

and his fur trimmed red suit was called "unenlightened".

 

To show you the strangeness of today's ebbs and flows,

Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose.

He went to Geraldo, in front of the Nation,

demanding millions in over-due workers compensation.

 

So...half of the reindeer were gone,

and his wife who suddenly said she'd had enough of this life,

 joined a self help group, packed and left in a whiz,

demanding from now on that her title was Ms.

 

And as for gifts...why, he'd never had the notion that making a choice

could cause such commotion.

Nothing of leather, nothing of fur...

Which meant nothing for him or nothing for her.

 

Nothing to aim, Nothing to shoot,

Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.

Nothing for just girls and nothing for just boys.

Nothing that claimed to be gender specific,

Nothing that's warlike or non-pacifistic.

 

No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.

Nothing that seemed to embellish upon the truth.

And fairy tales...while not yet forbidden,

were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden,

for they raised the hackles of those psychological,

who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.

 

No baseball, no football...someone might get hurt,

besides - playing sports exposed kids to dirt.

Dolls were said to be sexist and should be passe.

and Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.

 

So Santa just stood there, disheveled and perplexed,

he just couldn't figure out what to do next?

He tried to be merry he tried to be gay,

but you must have to admit he was having a very bad day.

His sack was quite empty, it was flat on the ground,

nothing fully acceptable was anywhere to be found.

 

Something special was needed, a gift that he might,

give to us all, without angering the left or the right.

A gift that would satisfy - with no indecision, each group

of people in every religion.

Every race, every hue,

everyone, everywhere...even you!

 

So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...

 

"MAY YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES, ENJOY PEACE ON EARTH"

As most of you who know me, know that I am the Adult Child of an Alcoholic. That means I was raised in a home with an alcoholic parent and it altered the way I was raised in that what I believe and trust to be the truth aren't necessarily correct. Similar to anyone raised in a really disfunctional family. I lived on eggshells wondering which thing I did or said, or didn't do was going to set off the next rant. I had no siblings living at home so no one to share the blame with. It was my fault whether I did it or not. I was afraid to bring friends home because I never knew what embarrassing thing was going to come out of my father's mouth. His idea of funny when he was drinking (which was all the time) was not exactly comedic relief! Anywho, I say this to say what I really came here for.

 

Since I had no one to confide in and did not know that parents were supposed to nuture, I found solice in food. That is the one thing my mother enjoyed doing and I was more than happy to oblige her affection through the wonderful meals and especially the desserts she made us. Everyone knows the expression "comfort food". It's a proven fact that some foods release endorphins in the brain which are the "feel good" chemicals that drug addicts seek when they do their thing. Food is my drug of choice. So I have been battling this all my life. A year & 1/2 ago I entered the Bariatric program at the Army Hospital. I went through 3 months prep classes and evals and in May of last year I had Gastric Bypass surgery. Now for those of you who know this is not a cure all. It is just a tool - a very extreme tool but a tool nevertheless. It is not going to work without your cooperation.

 

I lost 90 lbs. But now I'm stuck. I am afraid to feel my emotions so I have gone back to eating them into submission. The evil one has done a good job of making me believe that I cannot handle my emotions and that I should keep them at bay. I need to get the last 40 lbs off so I can be healthy! I tell everyone else to trust Jesus but I don't do it myself. I so need prayer to be able to conquer this. Like the Israelites, I go around the mountain instead of pressing through it. I know that in my weakness He is strong but I'm not feeling it. Holy Spirit please help me! Need motivation. Please pray with me that the motivation comes soon.

 

Thanks.

The coolest thing happened in Church yesterday. I prayed for a long time before Mass. I'm not sure I remember exactly what I prayed about but I do know I asked for graces to improve my circumstances where I was not trusting Jesus as I should. During Mass, the Priest calls all the children 4 years to 12 years up front to receive a blessing and then they depart to another part of the church to hear the Gospel and learn on their level while we hear the readings and the Gospel and Homily from the pulpit. While the children are processing out of the church, the choir sings "Jesus Loves the Little Children" by Ray Stevens. That song is like fingernails on a chalkboard to me -- don't ask me why. So I don't sing along and I just smile at the children as they go by. Yesterday, I found myself singing! I didn't even know I was singing at first!! Once I became conscious that I was singing, I was aware that I didn't despise the song anymore and was actually glad to be singing it. Now if that's not a Jesus moment -- what is?! TYJ for giving me those "a-ha" moments where I can see you at work in my life. Peace,
Carol

Sent from my iPhone

Sorry folks. Not sure how it happened but you probably got something from me yesterday that was sent from my acct but not by me.

 

Carol

For those of you that were on the Music Boat Cruise, you probably met Morgan. I took her with me as an early graduation gift. She's a good kid who was home schooled all her life. She lives in Eastern Pennsylvania with her mom and younger sister. Morgan has a deep love for God and music. She wants to go through this program to enhance her skills and deepen her faith before making a decision about college and career. I support her in this decision. Of course there is no formal tuition assistance available for these types of schools so she must raise the money to go. She will also need prayer as she works to meet the requirements for admission which is 2 weeks away. Please keep Morgan in your prayers that she follows through with what she believes is God's will for her. If you are so inclined to toss a check in an envelope, God will bless you richly. My only sibling, her grandmother's birthday is tomorrow. Had she lived she would have supported this decision also. I have included her letter that she sent to friends and family. If you would like to know more about the program you can go to http://www.gettysburgmasterscommission.com/

Peace,

Carol

Morgan's letter:

My name is Morgan Elizabeth Wallas. I graduated high school from Pennsylvania Leadership Charter School on June 18th, 2011. I plan on enrolling into GMC, Gettysburg Master’s Commission, in the Fall of this year.

 

            Gettysburg Master’s Commission is a nine-month Discipleship Training School that helps teach, train, and develop young men and women into leaders and disciples of Christ. GMC tuition expenses include housing, food, and education. Housing is provided through a system called “home-openers”, which resembles foster-care housing. It is where Christian families take in the students of GMC for the entire 9 months and let them live with them and their families. The home-openers are prayerfully considered for each student by GMC Staff. Each "school year" contains 12-credit hours of classes which are endorsed by Valley Forge (Christian College); these credits are transferable to other colleges which are ministry-based.

            Lance Stoddart, the Director of Gettysburg Master’s Commission, and I are working together to get me started in the process of enrollment. Some of the requirements needed for this program are a valid Driver’s license, a car, passport, laptop, health insurance, and a phone interview with the Director of GMC. The tuition for the total year in GMC is $6500. The enrollment fee that is due on August 18th is $3100.

Most of the larger tasks have been taken care of, but I still need the funds for tuition, including the enrollment fee which I am still collecting. Although August 18th is only 2 weeks away, I have faith that the funds will be provided enrollment.

I had been unaware of my direction in life for awhile. As I have continued to grow in Christ, I have become able to form a plan and purpose for my life. My plan is to use GMC to become a better student, friend, sister, daughter, mentor, and, most importantly, a woman-of-God. My purpose is to become someone God can use to influence others and to make a difference in society.

I cannot do this on my own, and I believe God puts friends and family in our lives so that we don’t have to. I am asking you to support me financially and prayerfully. The first payment is $3000 is due August 18th, 2011, but the rest of the tuition can be paid throughout the 9 months while I’m attending. August 18th is only two weeks away, but I am believing that God can move mountains in my life! Please think and pray about your support in my life and my journey with Christ.

 

Thank you,

            Morgan Elizabeth Wallas

 

PS! If you know anyone who was not tagged in this, please feel free to re-post this and give them my contact. You can reach me here, or by email and phone.mewallas@yahoo.com

717/491.4101

Well it's Monday. The day we always start over. Start a new diet, start exercising, start breaking habits, start whatever. Today I start the rest of my life. I read Mark Lee's tweet this morning about procrastination and boy am I one of those. Why do it today when you can do it tomorrow? Three months ago I packed up our entire household and moved it into the garage so we could get carpeting put in the whole house. Most of the boxes are still out there. One of my battles I have on a daily basis is with food. Many of you have told me you have the same battle. For me, it is an emotional medication that helps me to not have to deal with my feelings.  As most of you know I was raised in a home with an Alcoholic Father and a Mother who did what she had to do to make things seem normal to everyone else. Children of Alcoholics most likely learn early on to hide their emotions and fade into the background to avoid letting anyone know the "family secret" and because that's what we do to survive in this type of situation. I say that to say this -- food, especially carbs make me "feel good". They also make me fat! I have had counseling, I know what needs to be done, but I avoid it because it's gonna HURT!

 

Some 14 months ago, I had Gastric Bypass surgery because I know that I could not succeed in losing the weight on my own. I tried and failed so many times. Unlike other adictions, you can't go cold turkey with food. You still have to eat, it's all around you and there is no substitute for the feel good sensation without changing to another adiction. For some, that change is to exercise. I despise exercise! Yes I do enjoy the "runner's high" but it is short lived and it's easier to munch on some chips several times a day for a fix than go out running everytime I feel down! Sounds like an excuse? Probably is! Unless you've been there, it's difficult to understand.

 

So today I start again. I need to restrict my carb intake and stop eating the junk food. I need to get rid of these last 40 lbs. 40 - the exact number that is found in the Bible so many times. Rick Warren talks about it in the Purpose Driven Life which I started today also! So for the next 40 days I will walk the walk and not just talk the talk. I have envoked the Holy Spirit to come on this journey with me. I will most likely stumble and fall but like Jesus when he carried the cross, I will get back up again, pick up this cross and continue. Please pray for me that I can be successful for this journey. Pray that I can overcome the demon of food addiction. Pray that I can become closer to God in this journey. Pray that I can overcome my procrastination and get it done this time. Pray that I survive day 1!

 

Peace,

Carol